If you’re looking into how to encourage independent play with your children, you’ve come to the right place. Independent play is an important part of a child’s development. It’s how they learn to take responsibility for their own actions and explore the world around them. And yet, many children are not given opportunities to engage in independent play because parents have been misled by myths about how it will harm them.
In this post, I’m going to share 10 ways how to encourage independent play and some tips on setting up the right environment at home.
What is independent play and why is it important for children’s development?
Independent play is when a child is by themselves and playing. They might be playing with toys, outside, or with friends. But they are doing it by themselves.
This is important for children because it helps them learn how to take care of themselves. Being free to try new things and learn about what they like and dislike helps children build confidence in their own abilities.
When children play independently, it helps them develop their imagination. By coming up with their own ideas and stories, they learn to be creative while also figuring out how the world works in their own time.
Having some alone time every day also gives space for the child to regulate their emotions better. When they have this time to play how they want, it can help them deal with big feelings like anger and sadness in a healthy way.
Myths about independent play that parents often believe
There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding independent play which prevents parents from encouraging it in their children.
One is that if their child is playing independently, parents are not with them and therefore the child is not supervised. This is not true. In fact, you can be sitting there with your child, reading a book, or just watching them play, and they are still considered to be playing independently.
Another myth is that children who play independently don’t socialize or interact with others. On the contrary, playing by themselves gives children the opportunity to learn how to be comfortable in their own company. Then, when they are ready, they can approach social interactions on their own terms.
Parents also believe that independent play is only for older children. This isn’t the case either. All children can and should be given opportunities to play by themselves, starting from the infant stage. Recent studies have shown that even the youngest infants are capable of self-learning and initiating play.
Some parents often feel guilty leaving their children to play alone. They think that they’re not doing their part as a parent if they’re not constantly and actively playing with their child. However, giving your child some space to play independently, while you sit back to observe and respond, is one of the best things you can do for them because it allows them to explore, learn and grow in their own way.
If independent play overwhelms you with guilt, read this post to feel better.
My Olivia has been pottering about the house on her own ever since she learned how to crawl, and it’s done wonders for both her growth and my sanity. My only regret is not having Arianna play independently sooner, but now that she is, I can see her emotions regulating as she processes her day through play.
How to encourage your kids to play independently
Now that we’ve established the benefits of independent play and debunked the myths, here are 10 ways how to encourage your children to play independently:
1. Give them space and freedom to try new things
One way to encourage your kids to play independently is to give them space and freedom to try new things. This could be anything from letting them explore different parts of the house by themselves, to giving them a set of age-appropriate materials like paints, clay, or blocks to play with.
You can also help them explore their surroundings by taking them on hikes or walks in the park, where they can discover new things at their own pace. The key is to let them lead the way and follow their interests.
2. Let them know that it’s okay to be alone sometimes
One of the main benefits of independent play is that it allows children to explore the world on their own terms. This can be a difficult concept for them to grasp at the beginning, especially if they’re used to being constantly supervised.
Let your child know that it’s okay to be alone sometimes. Encourage them to play in the room by themselves while you do something else.
It’s also helpful to create a safe space for them to play in, where they know they can always come to you if they need anything. This could be a special spot in the house or a specific toy that they can only play with when they’re by themselves.
Once they’re assured of your presence, they will be more likely to explore freely on their own.
3. Observe and respond to what they’re doing without joining in
As mentioned before, one of the best things you can do as a parent is to observe and respond to what your child is doing while they’re playing independently. This means that you shouldn’t join in or take over their play, but rather let them continue on their own while you provide support and guidance when necessary.
This does not mean sitting back and doing nothing. Let your child know that you’re watching and that you’re interested in what they’re doing.
Try giving them a few minutes to play with their new toy before asking them about it or letting them finish their art project before offering any feedback.
4. Encourage them to use their imagination
This is a big one, but it’s important. As your child grows older, they will naturally want to use their imagination more and more. But, sometimes they might need a little encouragement.
This could involve giving them a box of materials to play with, like crayons, paper, and scissors, or providing them with a theme to build around, like a pirate ship or a castle.
You can also encourage them to pretend to be different characters or animals or to make up their own games. The key is to let them explore and experiment without too much structure or guidance. The sky’s the limit when it comes to imagination, so let your child explore!
5. Help them find ways to regulate their emotions
As children get older, they start to experience more complex emotions. This can be difficult for them to manage, especially if they don’t have any coping mechanisms yet.
One way to help them regulate their emotions is to encourage them to play independently. This could be anything from letting them work out their feelings through pretend play, to giving them a designated space to calm down.
It might also be helpful to talk to them about their emotions and give them some words to describe how they’re feeling. For example, if your child is angry, you could help them understand that feeling by saying “You seem really mad right now. What’s making you so mad?”
By giving them the tools to understand and deal with their emotions, you’re helping set them up for a lifetime of healthy emotional regulation.
6. Offer guidance and support when needed
It can be tough to resist the urge to constantly direct and guide your kids, but it’s important to remember that children need time to play and explore without interference.
That doesn’t mean you should stand idly by when they start heading down a dangerous path – but offering support only when it’s needed will help them develop their own problem-solving skills. Help them with a task they’re really struggling with or provide encouragement when they’re feeling discouraged.
Otherwise, take a step back, and let your kids lead the way.
7. Allow some time for independent play every day
One of the best ways to encourage independent play is to allow your child some time every day to play independently. This could be for a set amount of time, like 30 minutes, or until they’ve completed a specific task.
Feel free to provide plenty of opportunities for your children to play independently throughout the day. For example, you could set up a playdate with another parent and their child where the kids play together while the parents chat. Or, you could go to the park and let your child explore while you keep an eye on them from a distance.
The key is to let them explore and experiment without too much structure or guidance.
8. Be patient
This is probably the most important thing you can do as a parent when it comes to your child’s development. Resist the urge to step in and help too soon. Let them explore, make mistakes, and learn from them. They’ll figure things out on their own, but it will take time. And that’s okay.
The more opportunities they have to play independently, the more they’ll learn how to take responsibility for their own actions and explore the world around them. So be patient and allow them some time every day to play by themselves.
As long as they know you’re always there for them, they’ll be just fine. So take a step back, relax, and let them learn. It’s an important part of growing up.
9. Refrain from commenting on their play
Children should be allowed to explore and learn in their own way without adult interference. Parents can help foster this independence by not commenting on their children’s play. This includes both positive and negative comments; even praise can be inhibiting if it draws too much attention to the child.
It can be tough to resist the temptation to offer your two cents, especially if you see your child struggling with a task. But unless they specifically ask for help, it’s best to keep mum. This is because comments from parents can interrupt children’s train of thought and disrupt their play.
So let them play, and save your commentary for later.
10. Let them have fun!
Above all, remember to relax and have fun! Independent play is an important part of your child’s development, but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious all the time. Make sure to set aside some time for you and your child to just goof off and have some laughs.
The more relaxed and positive you are, the more likely your child is to approach independent play with enthusiasm. So let them play how they want to play and don’t worry about whether or not it’s “productive.” They’ll learn plenty while they’re having fun.
Tips for creating an environment that promotes independent play
When it comes to making sure your little one is getting the most out of their playtime, there are a few things you can do to encourage independent play. One of the easiest ways to do this is by creating an environment that’s conducive to exploration and creativity. Here are a few tips to help get you started:
1. Make sure there are plenty of toys and materials that allow for open-ended play. This means things like blocks, cars, dolls, and art supplies that can be used in a variety of ways. Encourage your child to use these materials creatively and come up with their own games and stories.
2. Give your child some space to explore. Provide them with a play area where they can spread out and experiment safely without being too restrictive. Include a variety of surfaces (e.g. carpet, wood, plastic), props (e.g. pillows, chairs, tables), and toys to help them get creative.
3. Let them take the lead. Sometimes the best way to encourage independent play is to simply step back and let your child take the reins. This may mean giving them some freedom to roam around your home or backyard, or letting them decide what game they want to play next.
4. Be a role model. One of the best ways to encourage independent play is to lead by example. Spend some time by yourself doing the things you like, whether that’s reading, crafting, or playing a sport. If you need more self-care ideas, have a read at this post. This will show your child that it’s ok to entertain themselves and that there’s plenty to explore in the world.
Our children need time and space to play independently in order to learn, explore, and grow. It’s not always easy to let go, but the benefits of independent play are worth it. And when you do finally take a step back and relax with a good book or coffee or even clean the house while your child plays without interruption, know that you’re doing something amazing for their development.
So next time your child asks to play alone, say yes!
