Are you looking for some positive discipline tips to implement in your everyday parenting?
Perhaps you’re tired of using punishments to try and get your kids to behave, and you’re looking for a positive and more effective approach.
Raising children can be a challenge at the best of times. But it can be especially difficult when parents are not armed with the proper tools and techniques.
Positive discipline is a method of parenting that relies on positive reinforcement, communication, and setting limits.
It can help create a calm and positive home environment for both children and parents. That means, less yelling and screaming for us, and fewer tantrums and meltdowns for them.
If that sounds like something you’d like to try, then keep reading for 10 helpful tips that can help you use positive discipline techniques in your parenting.
Quick Guide: 10 Tips To Using Positive Discipline in Everyday Parenting
- Establish clear rules and expectations
- Try to avoid using negative language
- Be consistent
- Praise the good and ignore the bad
- Avoid using physical punishment
- Use time-in instead of time-out
- Try to understand why your child is misbehaving
- Avoid power struggles
- Model positive behavior
- Be kind but firm
Read on as we discover:
- What is positive discipline?
- How positive discipline can help with everyday parenting
- 10 tips for everyday parenting
What is positive discipline?
Positive discipline is a parenting style that focuses on positive reinforcement, rather than punishment. It teaches children the importance of positive behaviors and helps them learn to make good choices on their own.
Many people think of positive discipline as a way to avoid punishment, but it is much more than that. Positive discipline is about helping children learn the skills they need to be successful in life.
It is based on the idea that children are best-behaved when they feel positive about themselves and their abilities. When children feel good about themselves, they are more likely to make good choices.
Research has shown that positive discipline is more effective than punishment in promoting positive behavior in children. Positive discipline also helps to build strong relationships between parents and children. Punishment, which is based in fear, can damage relationships and cause children to act out in negative ways.
Positive discipline is not about being permissive or lenient. It is about setting clear expectations and limits and then helping children meet those expectations.
It is also important to remember that positive discipline takes time and patience. It is not a quick fix for bad behavior. But if you are consistent with it, you will see positive results.
How positive discipline can help in everyday parenting
One of the benefits of positive discipline is that it helps children learn how to behave appropriately without relying on punishment. Punishment often does not work well in teaching children how to behave. It can make them scared or resentful, and they may not learn the skills they need to cope with difficult situations.
Through positive discipline, children learn how to take responsibility for their actions. When children are punished, they may not understand why they are being punished and may feel that they are powerless.
With positive discipline, children learn that they are capable of making positive choices and that they are responsible for their own behavior.
10 tips for using positive discipline in everyday parenting
Now that the benefits are clear, here are 10 tips to help get you started with using positive discipline in your everyday parenting.
1. Establish clear rules and expectations
Let your child know what is expected of them in terms of behavior, and make sure the consequences for breaking these rules are also clear. This will help to avoid any confusion or conflict later on.
The consequences should be positive whenever possible, such as offering praise or rewards for good behavior. If trying to correct a particular unwanted behavior, negative consequences may be necessary on occasion, but should always be used sparingly and never in a way that would physically or emotionally hurt your child.
Try to use related or logical consequences whenever possible as well, such as taking away a toy that was used in an unacceptable manner. This will help your child to understand the connection between their actions and the consequences.
2. Try to avoid using negative language
Using positive language is key when it comes to positive discipline. Parents should always avoid using threats or ultimatums when speaking to their children.
Threatening children with punishment if they don’t behave is not only ineffective, but it can also be harmful. For one thing, it teaches children that they only have to obey when they are afraid of the consequences. This can foster a climate of fear and mistrust in the home.
In addition, making threats that you don’t follow through on can damage your credibility and make it harder to discipline children in the future.
If you say you’re going to do something, you need to be prepared to actually do it.
Instead, positive statements and encouragement work better in the long run. For example, rather than saying “don’t hit your sister,” try “we use kind hands in this family.”
Children often feel confused when we use negative language, as it can be difficult for them to understand what they should do instead. By giving precise and positive instructions, you can avoid this confusion and help your child know exactly what is expected of them.
3. Be consistent
In order for positive discipline to be effective, it is important to be consistent with its implementation. This means that all caregivers must be on board with the plan and use it consistently with the child.
If a certain behavior is not tolerated today, it shouldn’t be tolerated tomorrow either. This will help your child to understand what is and isn’t acceptable and leaves no room for confusion.
For example, if you have a rule that your child must be in bed by 8 pm, then all caregivers should enforce this rule every night. Exceptions to the rule should be very rare and only made under special circumstances. Otherwise, it will be that much harder to stick to the rule in the future.
4. Praise the good and ignore the bad
When you see your children behaving in the way you want them to, make sure to point it out and praise them for it. This will encourage them to continue behaving in this positive manner.
You can use both verbal and nonverbal expressions of approval, such as smiles, hugs, or calling out the positive behavior. Just be sincere in your praise and make sure it is specific to the desired behavior.
For example, rather than simply saying “good job,” try “I really like the way you shared your toys with your sister.”
On the same note, if your child is engaging in minor misbehavior that is not harmful or destructive, it is often best to simply ignore it. This will usually cause the child to stop the behavior in order to receive your attention.
Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule – if the behavior is harmful or dangerous, it should be addressed immediately. But for most minor missteps, a little ignoring can go a long way.
5. Avoid using physical punishment
Physical punishment is never an effective way to discipline children and can actually lead to more behavioral problems.
Fear-based parenting only teaches children that it is okay to physically hurt others when they are angry or upset.
This can lead to a cycle of violence, as children who are physically punished are more likely to resort to physical force themselves when they become parents.
In addition, physical punishment can damage the parent-child relationship and lead to feelings of mistrust, anger, and resentment. It can also cause children to become more aggressive, anxious, and depressed.
If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with your child, take a deep breath and try to calm down before taking any action. Once you’ve regained your composure, you can then address the situation in a more constructive manner.
6. Use time-in instead of time-out
When children are engaging in negative or destructive behavior, it is often tempting to banish them to their room or another isolated area as a form of punishment. However, this can actually do more harm than good.
Time-out can make children feel rejected and unloved, which can lead to further behavioral problems. In some cases, it can also cause children to become more aggressive.
A better alternative is to use “time-in,” where you stay with the child and help them calm down. This can be done by talking to them calmly, holding them, or even just sitting with them in silence. When they are calmer, you can then talk to them about what they did wrong and help them come up with a better way to handle the situation next time.
The goal is to help the child feel loved and supported, even in the midst of their negative behavior. With time and patience, this will usually help to diffuse the situation and prevent future outbursts.
7. Try to understand why your child is misbehaving
There may be an underlying reason for their behavior which can be addressed with some understanding and patience on your part.
For example, a child who is acting out may be feeling insecure or neglected. A child who is hitting may be feeling frustrated and helpless.
By trying to understand the reason behind the misbehavior, you can develop a more effective plan to address the problem. In some cases, the solution may be as simple as spending more time with your child or providing more structure and limits.
Remember that children are still learning and growing, and they will make mistakes along the way.
Just as we need to learn from our mistakes, so do they. It is more important that we focus on helping them to learn from their mistakes rather than simply punishing our children for making them.
8. Avoid power struggles
It can be tempting to engage in a battle of wills with your child when they are behaving negatively. However, this is usually counterproductive and will only make the situation worse.
In order to avoid power struggles, it is important to be clear and consistent with your expectations and rules. If you give in to your child’s demands, they will learn that they can get their way by misbehaving.
On the other hand, if you are too rigid and inflexible, this can lead to conflict and resentment. Try to find a balance that works for you and your family.
In general, it is best to avoid power struggles by staying calm and positive. This can be difficult to do when your child is acting out, but it is important to remember that you are the parent and you are in control.
And this includes being in control of your own behavior and emotions!
9. Model positive behavior
If you’re trying to encourage positive behavior, make sure you’re exhibiting positive behavior yourself!
This means that you should avoid engaging in negative behaviors yourself and instead focus on setting a good example for your child to follow.
This includes everything from yelling and hitting to more subtle forms of negative behavior, such as name-calling or making critical comments.
Remember that children are constantly watching and learning from what we do. Our behavior is a stronger role model than our words, so it’s important to lead by example if we want our children to behave in positive ways.
This may not be easy to do all the time, so when you feel like yelling, take some ideas from this post. It will help!
10. Be kind but firm
Above all else, be kind to your children and be kind to yourself. We all need more kindness in this world, and where better to start than at home.
Being kind doesn’t mean that you have to give in to your child’s every demand or let them get away with bad behavior. It simply means that you should approach your child with a positive attitude and try to see things from their perspective.
And when you do need to discipline your child, make sure that your intentions are positive. That is, your goal should be to teach and guide your child, not to punish them.
With a positive attitude and some understanding, you can help your child learn how to behave in positive ways, even when they are feeling negative emotions. And that’s a valuable lesson for all of us.
Positive discipline is not about perfection, it’s about making a conscious effort to be more understanding and compassionate with our children. If we can all take a step back, breathe, and focus on positive discipline techniques, we can create happier homes for everyone involved.
I hope you’ve found these ten tips for using positive discipline helpful. Remember, every family is different and what works for one may not work for another. Be patient, experiment, and above all else have fun with your kids!
Do you have any go-to tips for using positive discipline in your home? Share them in the comments below!
