Parents these days need an A to Z of parenting skills.
We attend prenatal classes and prepare ourselves for postpartum recovery, but nobody ever prepares you for the long parenting road ahead.
While we went through all the stages of childhood ourselves, it’s a mistake to think that our children will go through the same experiences and have the same needs and desires that we had.
We are all individuals. And that applies to our children as well. My youngest daughter, Olivia, couldn’t be more different than her sister, Arianna.
So while I no longer strive to become the perfect mother, I do equip myself with the A to Z of parenting skills needed to make this journey exciting and enjoyable for the whole family. I’m here to share these skills with you, and I hope you find them useful.
A quick glance at the A to Z of parenting skills:
- A – Acceptance
- B – Boundaries
- C – Connection
- D – Discipline
- E – Empathy
- F – Flexibility
- G – Gratitude
- H – Humor
- I – Intentionality
- J – Joy
- K – Kindness
- L – Listen
- M – Marriage
- N – Needs
- O – Openness
- P – Pause
- Q – Quality time
- R – Respect
- S – Self-care
- T – Teamwork
- U – Unconditional love
- V – Voice
- W – Words
- X – eXample
- Y – Yes
- Z – Zen
Related Posts:
A Simple Guide to the ABCs of Positive Parenting
10 Best Positive Discipline Tips In Everyday Parenting
Montessori Parenting: The How-To Guide for Beginners
A to Z Of Parenting Skills
Acceptance – It’s apt that this is at the top of the list because I think that to be a good parent, we must first learn to accept ourselves and our children just the way we are. See the beauty within ourselves and our children, flaws and all, and believe strongly that we are all enough.
Boundaries – Children need to feel safe and secure exploring their world, and boundaries help them do that. By giving them broad and explicit boundaries, children have enough freedom but still know they are protected even when making mistakes. The key is consistency.
Connection – I still struggle with remembering that connection should always trump correction, but when I do, it never ceases to amaze me how well it works. Children crave a strong connection to their parents because we make up most of their small world when they are young. And the best way to build a connection with children is to spend time doing things they love.
Discipline – I grew up associating discipline with punishment. But positive discipline taught me that there are no good or bad children, only misunderstood children with good and bad behaviors.
Once I saw that all the tantrums and resistance became easier to deal with, I could become a better parent to my girls because I understood that all they needed were tools and lots of empathy.
Empathy – Children need empathy when they are experiencing big feelings that may be overwhelming for them. As parents, we also need empathy when we are faced with all the struggles of this parenting journey.
The last thing you’d want to hear when you are feeling sad or angry is for someone to dismiss them as “being silly” or asking you to “be quiet”. No matter how ridiculous the reason might seem to us (“I don’t want water in my eyes!”), all feelings are valid, and a little empathy can go a long way to raising emotionally intelligent children.
Flexibility – If it’s one thing I’ve learned from being a mom to toddlers, it’s that they are unpredictable, and trying to control them will only result in making everyone frustrated. It’s important to have a plan in place so that they know what to expect, but be flexible about your plan.
Being late for school, dinner plans, or even bedtime never hurt anybody unless you choose to be rigid and unbendable.
Gratitude – It’s so easy to get swept up in the doing when you’re a busy parent, and you’re so worried about doing a good job that I think sometimes we forget to appreciate just how much our children give us. The unconditional love that they afford us is incomparable.
They don’t care how we look, what kind of house we live in, or even whether we cook them dinner every day. As long we shower them with love and affection, they forgive us so readily. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Humor – I think all parenting styles could afford to have a dose of humor injected into their everyday lives. As a family, both adults and children could benefit from loosening up and just having fun with each other. It’s no coincidence that laughter increases endorphins in the brain and is just what the doctor ordered to relieve stress and tension.
Intentionality – While all of us should find our own way of parenting, and no two children are alike, I think setting an intention is important to help us focus on the bigger picture. Remind yourself of your why so that you don’t get too wrapped up in the details that you lose sight of your purpose.
Joy – Parenting is hard enough as it is. If you’re anything like me, you’ll find yourself bogged down by the daily grind and feeling pretty low on most days. But I’ve found that when I slow down and take the time to enjoy the little moments – like when my girls are playing together – I’m able to let joy in.
Kindness – We could all use a little more kindness in this world. And it all starts at home.
Be kind to yourself by using positive affirmations and kind words when talking to yourself. Then, be kind to your spouse and children because we all want to be treated kindly.
Listen – We all have a need to be seen and heard, even young children and babies, but how many of us actually listen?
Listening means more than hearing the words. It means to pay attention with our ears, our eyes, and our hearts. To discern the need behind the words that our children are telling us. When we can do that, we really listen and connect with them.
We’re halfway through the A to Z of parenting skills, and it wouldn’t be complete without talking about marriage.
Marriage – Is your marriage at the top of your priority list? If it’s not, then perhaps it’s time you reconsider your priorities.
If not for you and your spouse, then for your kids.
When you have a strong relationship with your spouse, it extends to your relationship with your children and as a family overall. Plus, it makes for a good role model for your children’s future.
Needs – We all have different needs. Some of us need rest, others need security, and all of us need love. When our needs are not fulfilled, we lash out, usually at the people closest to us, our spouse and children.
Be flexible about how you can fulfill your need, but remember to take the time to fill up your tank.
Openness – We need to be able to share our thoughts, feelings, and worries with those closest to us. This includes our spouse and children as well. Practice having open communication with your children from a young age so that they know that they can always come to you for help.
Pause – A trick to keep yourself from yelling is to take the time to pause before you respond. It gives us a moment to become aware of our feelings and step back from our anger. This skill takes practice and patience, but it’s well worth it.
Quality Time – When it comes to spending time with our children, prioritize quality over quantity. Spend 10-15 minutes daily with each child (if you have more than one), doing something they love. This means putting away your phone, so you can give them your full attention.
Respect – We need to earn respect from our children by showing them respect first. Even the youngest of babies have their own thoughts, wishes, and needs, and we need to respect our children by treating them as competent individuals. Remember that children do what they see more often than what you say.
Self-care – We all need to care for ourselves to become better parents for our children. Prioritize self-care by eating a good diet, getting plenty of rest, and exercising regularly. When we’re taking care of ourselves, we’re also better able to handle stress and manage our emotions.
Teamwork – As parents, we need to learn how to work together as a team. This means that no one parent can do it all – we all have to pitch in and help out where needed. It’s also okay to ask for help from our family and friends. It takes a village to raise a child, after all.
Unconditional love – It’s impossible to give our children the unconditional love they need if we don’t have it for ourselves. Before we can give love to others, we have to first believe that we are worthy of being loved.
As parents, we need to learn how to receive and give love in a way that doesn’t depend on whether or not our child is doing well in school or behaving perfectly. They are beautiful as they are and deserve our love, no matter what.
Voice – Give our children a voice by always listening to what they have to say. Encourage them to speak up and be honest about their thoughts and feelings by not penalizing them for the things that they say, even if they might be hurtful or wrong.
Words – Words have the ability to heal or damage. As parents, it’s important that we use our words in a way that is positive and helpful to our children. We should never use words to hurt them, make them feel embarrassed, or control them. Instead, use words to uplift and encourage them.
eXample – As parents, we need to set an example for our children. This means behaving in a truthful and respectful way with others and showing kindness and compassion when dealing with difficult emotions. Children learn best through our modeling.
Yes – Yes, we need to be able to say “yes” to our children’s requests and needs. This doesn’t mean we have to always agree with them or go along with everything they want. Their opinions matter, but it is our job to keep them safe.
Zen – We end this list of the A to Z of parenting skills by having a little bit of Zen. This means being patient and accepting the chaos and uncertainty that comes with raising children. Remember that the days always seem very long, but the years go by in a flash!
FAQ:
What Are The ABCs Of Parenting?
ABC stands for Antecedent (before), Behavior (during), and Consequences (afterward). As parents, we need to remember that children move through all types of behavior in these three stages. Knowing which stage our child is in can help us determine which skill to use to teach them our children more effectively.
What Are The 5 Positive Parenting Skills?
Positive parents should always:
- Listen to children and communicate clearly and respectfully
- Set clear boundaries, limits, and expectations of children’s behavior
- Offer encouragement and support to try new things and express themselves
- Teach children how to solve problems and make decisions
- Be flexible and open to change as children grow and develop
What Are The Skills Of Parenting?
What are the most essential parenting skills?
According to Robert Epstein’s study, the 10 most important skills to ensure a strong parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health, and success are:
- Love and affection
- Stress management
- Relationship skills
- Autonomy and independence
- Education and learning
- Life skills
- Behavior management
- Health
- Religion
- Safety
What Are The 10 Parenting Styles?
Here are the 10 different types of parenting:
- Authoritative: firm but fair
- Authoritarian: very strict
- Permissive: very lenient
- Uninvolved: not actively involved in their children’s lives
- Neglectful: don’t provide children with basic needs
- Helicopter: overly involved
- Attachment: prioritizes a strong emotional bond
- Positive: uses positive reinforcement
- Gentle: a non-violent approach
- Conscious: mindful of the impact of parenting
Conclusion:
There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style. What works for my family may not work for yours. But that doesn’t mean you can afford to skip out on building the best habits for raising your kids.
Parenting is a long journey and full of ups and downs. It’s important to put some time and effort into cultivating the right level of confidence so that we don’t doubt ourselves every step of the way.
With so much to learn from the A to Z of parenting skills, you may feel overwhelmed at first, but with enough practice, you will become more confident every day. Take it one step at a time and see the difference in yourself and your children.
Which one was your favorite? Share your thoughts in the comments section down below!
Related Posts:
15 Positive Affirmations for Parents That Will Change Your Life
